[ Intocable ] ~ Touched [ ! ]

¿Qué debo hacer? Insistir, desistir.. Palabras similares, sentidos diametralmente opuestos.
¿Vos decís que te adoro por intocable? ¿Realmente lo creés así?
¿Cómo puedo hacerte ver que lo que siento por vos no tiene nada que ver conmigo, sino con lo que sos, lo que me dejaste ver? Todos tenemos defectos y virtudes y eso no me detiene ni un poco de querer conocerte. Saber que no sos perfecto solo me alienta más.

Hacer boludeces, si, hago muchas. No sé por qué, si pienso en vos.
No sé por qué pienso en vos. No sé como frenar mi mente de divagar en dirección de tu piel, tu pelo, tu respiración.. No sé como frenar mis ansias de vos, mis deseos de conocerte. Y no hablo de sexo, no hablo de contacto físico, es lo que menos me importa, lo que menos necesito. Te necesito. Más profundamente. Necesito tiempo compartido.

¿Por qué vos? No sé, mi corazón no me dio la posibilidad de elegir. ¿Alguna vez te da posibilidades de eso? No creo, cuando algo se siente es invitable.

AHH ¿es tan inútil todo lo que hago? ¿Realmente no sentís nada por mi?


[ Fuck this shit ]

BUFFY

Casualties. It just sounds so...casual. These are girls that I got killed. I cut myself off from them...all of them. I knew I was gonna lose some of them and I didn't— (shakes her head, stands up) You know what? I'm still making excuses. I've always cut myself off. I've always— (sighs) Being the slayer made me different. But it's my fault I stayed that way. People are always trying to connect to me, and I just slip away. (chuckles) You should know.

SPIKE

I seem to recall a certain amount of connecting.

BUFFY

(shakes her head) Oh, please! We were never close. You just wanted me because I was...unattainable.

SPIKE

(stands, angrily) You think that's all that was?

BUFFY

Please, let's not go over the past. (sits)

SPIKE

Oh, no, no. Let's hold on here. I'm hummed along to your pity-ditty, and I think I should have the mic for a bit.

BUFFY

Fine. The stage is yours. Cheer me up.

SPIKE

You're insufferable.

BUFFY

Thank you. That really helped.

SPIKE

I'm not trying to cheer you up.

BUFFY

What are you trying to say?

SPIKE

I don't know. I'll know when I'm done saying it. Something pissed me off, and I just— "Unattainable." That's it.

BUFFY

Fine. I'm attainable. I'm an attain-a-thon. May I please just go to sleep?

SPIKE

You listen to me. (kneels in front of her) I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls. (looks into her eyes) A 100+ years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you. (Buffy looks away; he reaches toward her face) Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. (a tear rolls down Buffy's cheek) I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.

BUFFY

(quietly) I don't wanna be the one.

SPIKE

I don't wanna be this good looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear. (Buffy chuckles) You get some rest now. I'll check in before first light. You can decide how you want... (walks toward the door)

BUFFY

Spike? (he turns to face her) Could you...stay here?

SPIKE

Sure. (looks at a chair) That diabolical old torture device, the comfy chair. (takes off his coat) It'll do me fine.

BUFFY:

No, I mean...here. (touches the bed beside her) Will you just hold me?

Spike sits on the bed beside Buffy and puts his arm around her. She curls up on him, cuddling up to his chest as he puts his arm around her shoulder, holding her head with his hand.

_{Untouchable ~ Lahmia}